New found appreciation and no homo

Deep down everyone can be a motherf**ker sometimes, yet everyone has their nice side as well. Kinda funny when you hurt others and dont realise it, and when others hurt you, you make a big fuss about it. Had a fight with my mate today, probably my best mate in the f'ed up world tbh. Not going into the details, but for some fucked up reason we seem to bond (atleast i feel) better after we have arguments. I am happy to admit, i dont always practice what I preach, nor do I uphold my morals in life every walking day.

I know that dude comes on my blog and read my shit, so im gonna say this here and then, i know that despite our differences in lifestyle, interest and all that shit, i honestly and honestly believe deep down, our friendship isnt about the past, nor the memories we held when we were growing up, I think we havnt really figured it out yet tbh, how two kids being 10 years old can be such good friends despite the limitations of our youth, i think we just put this as an excuse of it being the past, and all that bullshit we believe to be truth. All i can say is, its been a long road, we shed tears blood guts and all that shit. Been there for each other for ups and down, i do not think this is simply based on the past. I truly fucking believe we don't know what this is and why the fuck we are "putting" up with each other.

Its times like these, after those fights I realise that you hold me in check for most things i do in life. Maybe to you I am the "mature" one, im not that mature and you know it. Its like that stupid locking arms behind each other and trying to stand up kinda game. you support me as much as I support you. Behind that wall that we spoke about, im just a kid scared of everything, truth is, im nothing without the friends I have today and you my friend, has been a driving force in that matter hands down. You know the shit im doing right now, and i think deep down, you dont approve many parts of it based on your principle, but you try and understand and try and support. In truth, im desperate when i started to do this, this is nothing but one of the better attempts to improve myself, finding myself. I think you made alot of valid points tonight, its one of those things that i will remember for a long while to come, not for the fight itself, but for the fact you bothered to fight to improve me, for that, I cant thank you enough.

Sometimes I dont honestly understand how you can put up with my negatives when I cant even put up with it myself, but for that and just for that, i can tell that your so called "changes" are honestly never needed, you are who you want to be, you just dont like to show it to many people. Altho, stop with those mofo crazy ideas, those are defo not good.

Peace out
Srg