10 Years in the making

One decade ago, as a 10 year old Chinese kid (spoke no English btw), I came to Australia... (not by the boats, legit, dont sue me). To this universe, 10 years may seem like nothing. Traveling in space is calculated in light years, 10 years probably would be the equivalent as the size of bacterium to human, in terms of size and size only, it is insignificant. 10 years of the evolution of this planet and all of its life forms can probably be explained as one drop of water in the vast ocean, however it is rather difficult to describe how that drop even contributed to the enormous entirety. 10 years in modern day humanity/civilization can be seen as a lot faster then the former examples. It can be slow like a boat on a calm sea, much like politics in the peaceful days, or fast like any F1 races in terms of technology. With topics such as war, diseases, science, politics, disasters and technology as popular culture in this age, 10 years of changes to our world can be portrayed as a rising to setting sun. Slowly yet steadily moving.

But this isnt about 10 years of universe, evolution or humanity... this is smaller then that. Compared to those topics, my 10 years would be like that of an ant. Small and insignificant. But to me, that is probably my all, my 10 years universe, evolution and humanity.

Every one of those 10 years, I have changed, I have grown in some way and I have learned in some shape or form. From learning English to talk to other to learning about myself, I have in many ways changed myself. I dont make all my changes right and I make mistakes, but i try and not regret them. I learn from those mistakes, again and again if I must, but so far I have came out stronger then before. I try and not think about my past, but it is hard at times, esp when i am dark in my mood. But i understand that if you cant let go of that past, you will never move forward. and i intend to move forward with every chance I get. I consider myself lucky, because every time when I make a mistake, big or small, i always have a way of solving it, may it be finding the right person or just literally become lucky.

Over these past 10 years I have slowly defined who I am, I know I am always changing, so I probably will never find out who I truly am, but recently (in this year I believe) a friend of mine told me that no matter whatever happens in my life, I will always be that constant in my life. That is ironically the only thing that will never change in my life. I was in some dark places during that time, and perhaps that friend will never know how much that advice helped me. Because the changes that took place in my mind in the month after and right now has made me stronger then ever before. I cant say everything has changed, but I can say in many ways I am much more freer then before.

You ever know that nice guy in your friend group who takes people home with their car, likes a chick only to find out they are competing with their so called friends?
That nice guy doesnt stand a chance but no one has the hearts to tell him. So he always finds out last about everything. Ever had this one guy who is always the deso driver not because it was agreed by everyone, but its because he know everyone will start asking him to take them home once they had god knows how many shots? Its literally like he goes there to be the driver. Yeh, that guy was me. I am that door mat everyone stepped on and took for granted for everything. Heck, I had some friends (female) who was betting when I was gonna get my first gf. From memo it was 23 or 22 (or still 2 more years phew). This bro4life bs goes the moment chicks comes in, and chicks describes me as "the nice guy". Trust this "nice guy" you dont wanna be that nice guy at all. I will tell you why.

Girls at my age, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22 (im 20 btw), they dont wanna settle down with a nice guy. Nice guys are boring, easily controlled and have no excitement. Doesnt f'ing matter if they are nice or whatever. They are not FUN, no real personality, and thats all there is to it. Of cause I am generalizing, not all chicks are like that, but majority of the girls are. And if you as a chick ever read this and argue otherwise, seriously just think about it. Deny all of want but it is hardwired into your brain from caveman times. Woman wanted leaders, not the lower ranked caveman who only served. Didnt appeal to them at all. I highly doubt in your short 20 years of life you can change something hardwired through million years of evolution that quickly. If you did, contact me and lets hit to coffee, I know a few of nice guys who might wanna meet you.

Er, think thats really it atm , I had something else to talk about that happened today, but its like 3am and i really cbb atm, so mabye another time. I dont know if I wanna put this blog up on fb or msn, but i wrote it for a reason so, i mite, even if it seem abit personal/confronting. Anyways if u got up to here, I just wasted afew minutes of your life, so if you ever bump into me somewhere I will buy you a drink or someshit to make up for it.

Peace out
Srg

P.S. probably bad spelling and gramma shit, sue me see if I care =)